


Not Broken at All

by HarryPotterMazeRunner18



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Asexual Newt, Asexuality, Coming Out, Mentions of the other Gladers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:42:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4509996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarryPotterMazeRunner18/pseuds/HarryPotterMazeRunner18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt's experiences with his asexuality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Broken at All

**Author's Note:**

  * For [newtmasdoesthedo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/newtmasdoesthedo/gifts).



> This work is dedicated to JacquelineDeer, aka newtmasdoesthedo. You guys should all go and check out her blog, it's amazing!!! 
> 
> Anyway, back to the dedication. Jack, I'm the asexual anon, if you remember me, and I've been wanting to write something for you for some time. I decided to make Newt asexual because I am, and I love to have my favorite characters be like me. Basically everything Newt felt during this story is something I've felt, too. I really hope you like this, and I want to thank you again for being so supportive and just being so kind to me whenever I've ranted on your blog. 
> 
> You are amazing! I really hope you enjoy this!!! <3

Newt first realized there had to be something wrong with him when he was sixteen years old.

Sixteen. That was the age when his friends started properly exploring, kissing and making out and getting into relationships. That was the age when Thomas and Teresa dated for a month, then both hated it so much that they just went back to being friends and laughed about it for weeks. That was the age that Thomas and Minho realized that maybe they weren’t quite as straight as they’d thought, that hey, guys could be pretty hot too. That was the age that Alby came out as gay and Jeff and Clint hooked up at a party and Gally and Ben officially became an item.

That was also the age when Newt realized he must be defective. 

It was just – he didn’t get it. Didn’t get what everyone was talking about when they said someone was hot, didn’t get all that kissing they did. To him it just looked gross – putting your lips onto someone else’s, who the heck would want that? He had to avoid looking at all the couples making out in the school hallways, because it made him feel sick – sick and broken.

He just didn’t want that. 

All his friends had been kissed (and some, cough cough Minho cough cough) had gone even farther than that. Nearly all of them had been in relationships. But not Newt. At first he thought it was no big deal. He was a late bloomer, that was all, he’d feel the urge to kiss someone someday.

Except now he was seventeen, and he still didn’t. 

He didn’t understand what was wrong with him – everyone was kissing and even going beyond that, now. He was a seventeen-year-old teenager, for God’s sake! He was supposed to want sex! He was supposed to fantasize about kissing people!

He found some people attractive to look at, sure – both boys and girls. But the minute he saw them doing anything remotely sexual, even if he just saw a picture of a supposedly hot guy without a top, he found it gross.

He wanted so badly to be normal. To look at guys and girls like Minho and Thomas did and whistle and grin about how good they would be in bed. 

But he wasn’t normal, for some reason, and nothing he could do could change that. So he went on with his days of trying to be as normal as possible, but in reality feeling darkness spreading inside him, feeling like he was broken inside.

~~~

Things remained that way until one day about a month later, bored and out of books to read and homework to do, he decided to scroll through Tumblr. It was there that Newt came across the concept of asexuality. He read the definition, read it again – then almost started crying with relief. It was okay. It was all okay. He wasn’t broken. There were others like him! This was something concrete, something real – he was okay!

It took him over a month to gather the courage to tell his friends about his sexuality, and in the meantime he researched asexuality more. He learned a lot more about himself during his research and gradually began to feel better about it. Newt knew there was hate directed at asexuals, after all, but he felt sure that his friends wouldn’t mind – after all, most of them were LGBTQIA+ themselves.

So one day he took a deep breath and just blurted it out – straight up, just like that: “I’m asexual.”

There was a long pause, and Newt got scared, expecting them to laugh at him or tell him he was crazy, that it wasn’t real and he was just making things up. But instead they all just hugged him, congratulated him on figuring himself out, and then kept going with their discussion.

Newt had never felt better.

Now he knew for sure he wasn’t broken at all.


End file.
